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When I'm overwhelmed at the state of things, at the thought of what my future might not bring, little thoughts come to me and bring me enough joy to carry on with.

Today I thought about food.

There are so many things I haven't tried.

I've always been a picky eater. The only vegetables I'll tolerate on a regular basis are carrots and cucumbers

But the first time I had good ramen in middle school, it came with bean sprouts in it. And I loved it. I was scared, but I ate it, and I loved it. I took my partner there years ago, and they were scared too, but we ate and we were happy and it tasted the same as it did when I had braces and no driver's license.

My mom was gluten free for a long time. In first grade, her health scares began and so did the healthier eating. A lot of childhood stuff was weird for me, even beyond the food.

The first time I had a gusher was in freshman year, that's a different story. The first time I had a cosmic brownie was my junior year. I bought it at the gas station on my way to school. The first time I had a churro was my senior year on a marching band trip. I was surprisingly not a big fan. It was kind of stale.

So when I'm upset about having to wake up tomorrow morning at 6:30 AM for work, I remember that I have to keep going. I have to try tiramisu one day. Some day soon, maybe. Maybe one day I'll try cloudberries, too. They look delicious. I don't know if I want to make the trek for them.

Maybe I'll come around to wanting to try more things, too. And then maybe I'll like them.

My dad works with people based in Florida. I'm tempted to try gator. "Tastes like chicken," they say, and they mean it.

I don't want to taste like chicken. So I won't take the easy way out. I'll take it all to-go and save the leftovers for tomorrow, so I can have a piece tomorrow, and look forward to the next.

PS: i wrote this on my phone at midnight any errors are my fault but will be fixed naybe eventually